All because poor Donny can't find a single bank or insurance company to lend him the money. Poor, poor Donny.

Whyever could that be, do your think? It's so bigly unfair of those banker meanies.

It's almost like they're being tightfisted because they think Donny won't pay them back.

Silly bankers! Don't they realize Donny is a financial genius who never ever stiffs anyone?