And I wasn’t there, so I can’t know what the situation actually was. But going by this quote, “I was wearing heeled boots, tight distressed jeans, a striped cami that made my breasts look great, and my usual eyeliner and purple lipstick combo,” I presumed Riley was presently pretty obviously as a woman.
I could be wrong, of course.
I’ve just found myself in too many situations where a person like that server used misgendering to attack, motivated not by confusion but by hostility or incivility.
I’m not saying the proper response should be “in kind,” but it’s worth thinking about framing misgendering as a failure of kindness — at least where it appears to be intentional.
My two cents, anyway, not that that’ll buy you a coffee these days.