A lesson many of us are still trying to learn! My partner Lenny and I used to go to Provincetown every year, and the first time I experienced the neon speedos and preternaturally beautiful (and ripped) men of the gay vacation set, I was ... intimidated.

I don't have nearly as much experience with Fire Island, but it was kind of the same thing the couple times we ventured over.

But what I eventually learned in P-Town is that we (queer people) come in all shapes, sizes, and personalities. With Lenny's extroverted assistance (he never met a stranger he couldn't make friends with), I started seeing that the neon-speedo set were just one part of a complex ecosystem, and that many of them were just as insecure as I felt surrounded by all those ridged abs.

I even eventually bought a speedo of my own, though in basic black if you please, Mary Louise.

I never danced in the surf during a storm, but I used to tip-toe out late at night to the beach and just sort of snuggle down into the still-warm sand of the dunes, counting shooting stars, happy to be me, in love, and with my people, even though some of them intimidated me.