1993 was a scary time to be 20 and gay. We were still three years away from the effective combination therapies that for many commuted the inevitable death sentence of AIDS. And we didn’t KNOW we were three years away — for all anyone knew, the day might never come.

I had a close friend who was halfway between my age and yours who couldn’t take the anxiety. He was the first person I knew who seroconverted on purpose. He died of AIDS a short time before effective treatment became possible.